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Viabelle's Blog

When you're tired reading, start writing!!!

My Theory

When my boyfriend tells me he’s sitting in the front room doing nothing, but still dont be messaging me… I automatically thought maybe he just doesnt wants to talk to me. And now I’m like… Maybe he’s there in a temporary trans, not aware that he’s not messaging me. Maybe aliens landed on his brain and is trying to convince him that he is having this romantic conversation about spending the rest of his life with me, meanwhile his super powerful kids are tying him to the chair with these amazing award winning scout rangers knots. Blind folding him, to fly around the house creating a horrific mess. And whenever he snaps out of this state of whatever he is trapped in that has me here with no him to talk too, he will then message and tell me he is cleaning…because my super powerful soon to be official step kids has completed their masterpiece. And now I have to wait even longer to converse with my king.
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Birthday King

His birthday is approaching, and I know he is expecting a poem, a letter, something I made. But he’s still learning me so he forgets to expect the unexpected. This year its different, but he doesnt know it yet.

Love makes me do crazy things. Im a hopeless romantic. I go hard for my loves, I spend without thinking, I believe in doing things for others that I would like done to me. So I go all out.

Before I met my king I made a promise that my next relationship would be different, I would do things differently. So instead of spending and going all out, I wrote him letters, poems, made him pic collages…things that others wouldnt appreciate. Surprisingly, he appreciated every single thing I did for him. I felt his smile in my heart.

For his birthday this year, I decided to take it a bit higher, not to my extreme self as yet though. I believe if you want to be treated as a queen, you must be willing to treat him as a king. Guys love being spoiled as well. So im spending on him, well I have already spent. I’ve had his gift for a month now, anxious to give it to him. Maybe its the reaction im anxious to see. Either way, the time is almost near.

I love you my king.
Forever and a day😘😍

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Dear King

My desires in a relationship have changed over time. I no longer want someone who promises to always love me and never leave me. I need someone who understands that life happens and sometimes things dont work out. I dont want someone who sugar coats things and never gets angry with me. I need someone to tell me how it really is and put me in my place. I need to be able to go five hours without talking to you and not feel lost or incomplete without you. But with you, I want to be so much better. I want to be stronger with you. I want us to grow together and help each other grow individually. I dont need you, but I really fucking want you. I know I am an emotional wreck and I let my feelings get the best of me sometimes, but the fact that you’re still here, you still care…And the fact that you understand all of this and this is how our relationship works makes me think we’ve got a pretty good shot. As long as you appreciate me and remain consistent you dont ever have to doubt my loyalty. You gat me, I gat us.
I wanna grow old with you.
I love you my king, forever and a day.
Happy Valentines Day!!!
😘😍💏💑

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Faith, Prayer, Bite Your Tongue!

Some days you just wish you could crawl up under a rock, no not the typical ‘and die’, but just crawl and hide. Get away from everything and everyone. Three days under that rock and come out refresh, ready to take on more of the worlds ridiculousness. Unfortunately, you haven’t found a rock big enough to go under as yet. But you’re optimistic!

The frustration of living with people when you have been accustomed to living alone can be too much to handle some times. You bite your tongue so many times to prevent saying things that may come out entirely wrong because of the circumstances in which they are being revealed. Cleaning up is tiresome, and when you are constantly cleaning after others (mainly adults and its not a job) is painful. How can you complain, make any type of noise without sounding ungrateful, unappreciative or just thankless. So you bite your tongue.

Some days are filled with laughter and fun, then other days depressing and shut off.  Either days, you’re still thinking/searching about that rock.  Attitudes, jeers, snickering all thrown your way ‘on the low’, and yet all you can do for the time being is bite your tongue.

Every night, every morning, throughout the day you pray for something better, a better situation, a rock, that rock, your rock, to come your way. Some days you feel as though its getting better, you blink and it seems you fallen 20 steps back. You start thinking and wondering if you regret the decisions made to get you at this point. Faith, the size of a mustard seed is all you have, all you cling on to, that one day your breakthrough will come.

Until that day, hold on to your faith, keep praying and bite your tongue! Your rock is coming!!!

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Piercings

Simple, educated and classy is what I’d like to be known as, but physical appearance can make that seem impossible at first.

I love piercings. Tattoos are great, they show great artistry and on the right person they would make you wanna get one, but piercings for me is sexy. Yes, too much of anything is never good. To me, people with tattoos all over their face look like masks and one’s with piercings look like pin cushions. I don’t get why anyone would wanna look like either but hey, to each its own!

As for me, I currently have nine (currently because I still want 2 more) and sometimes I think thats too much, while others say, “Thats it?!”. Yep. My eyebrow, lip, right and left ear lobe, right and left ear hump, navel, tongue and just recently my nose…….(Which is taking forever to heal, its been almost 2 weeks now, im known to heal faster). I wanna get my right and left industrial done and I’d be content. Besides, im thinking of letting my navel close and my lip.   

In the Bahamas however, when in search of a job, anything besides ear piercings can negatively influence your chances. Atleast for a decent job. After you’ve been with a company for so long, you might then start to creep that side of you out. Imagine having to take all those piercings out, or using all that make up to cover up tats. Saddly, it happens.       

I just pictured myself 85 with lip, tongue and navel ring, whoa,      creepy…then I pictured my ears and eyebrow, not so bad…then my nose, hmph amazingly still sexy. The one I thought would never look good on me. Eighty-five I’m ready for you.

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No More

On this day, I declare NO MORE.

No more will self pity be used as an excuse for sex,   

No more will mental abuse or insecurities control me,

No more pretending that its all together when its not,

No more making others happy at my discomfort,

No more trying to fit in when I was born to stand out,     

No more loving others but not loving myself,         

No more settling when there are so many options out there,    

No more, it starts here. 

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Flashback

Back when I was younger, my friends and I would go over to each others homes and hangout for hours until sunset. Saturdays would be outdoors day – meaning we’d play ring play, hopskotch, jax & ball, bat & ball, hide & seek, tag, pokey etc.
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Early mid teens, we would still chill out by each other. Now we would be indoors discussing our new crush and playing crush name games like: M.A.S.H, TRUE LOVE, FLAMES.
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Mid teens, technology entered our lives with beepers. We’d send messages in number codes; 26632963 across your beeper screen deciphered as ‘come by me’. Alongside technology were boyfriends. Our hearts melted when ‘45683968 – I love you’ came through. I guess that was the early stage of text messaging.
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Late teens/Early 20’s some friends from younger didnt make this chapter and some new ones was introduced. Our new ‘tech toy’ was cellular phones. Breaking the hanging together error, now we called, and talked for hours. Then shortly after, texting became the new biggest thing. Hours, and hours of texting. Oh, how I miss those Nokia battery.
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Mid 20’s cellular/cellphones transitioned into smart phones, boosting texting with whatsapp and bbm. Hanging with friends became an occasional thing. Talking on the phone was even fading away.
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Late 20’s to now, smart phones advanced with touchscreen and apps like: Facebook, Instagram, Skype, Whatsapp etc., became easier accessible. So now everything became about popularity. How many likes can I get for this status pertaining to my bestfriend turned enemy, this video exposing my ex sexually, these pictures of my friends and I out.  Everything done instantly.
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Im only scratching the surface with the internet & phones; things that were invented for good, now being used by evil minds for all the bad that could possibly happen. 

Ok Cupid, You Tagged Me!

Like, view! View, like, message!

Beauty played a role because we’re attracted to pictures,
Still images with all different mixtures.

Yet, you stood out and I couldnt resist it.
Sent a simple message hoping you were legit.

You responded so quickly, I was hesistant to see.
Pulled it together and took a peek.

Conversation flowed, now we’re talking about a meet.
Gat me thinking about saying bye bye cause I found the guy for me.

Crush’n

Blah, blah, blahhh…Im blushing.😋

Things happen when you least expect it. I mean, I would have never thought the day would come when my crush would be crushing on me.

Unexpectedly, it happened. Dont know how, but I do know when. I smiled, he smiled back. And before you knew it we were in that amazing position, whining, holding, blocking out our surroundings. And for those moments everything seemed right, no one else existed.

It felt like a dream…was it really, real?!

The waters pushed against our bodies, the music playing ever so loudly and suddenly it happened… a kiss!!! No, not a peck…A KISS! A wet-juicy kiss. Lips soft and sweet, tongues entwine saying everything-without saying anything. 

I knew it wasnt a dream when I woke up the next day seeing a message saying, ‘Hey beautiful.’ I sat there smiling for a minute or two before I responded. Just thinking, what a feeling this is, this is real. Seeing him later on that night sealed the deal. It wasn’t a dream!

Gaped in admiration as he sat looking in my eyes. I love this feeling. But this is all it will be; two crushes, crush’n. And that’s not a bad thing.
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