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Viabelle's Blog

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Overlooked Circle 

You will always be overlooked if you waiting for the wrong person to notice you. Sure they look at you, they see you, spend time with you but they will never love you how you want them too. 

All the time you invest in loving them, catering to them because you love them, being there for them is all good for them but bad for you. You desire more, you deserve more, you will not get that from someone who is overlooking you. 

Your heart is pure and all that you do comes from pureness. It comes natural to do the things you do. You’re not looking to be praise, just to be loved. But you wont get that from loving someone who has overlooked you.

You criticize who they date because in role play;  who they date is them, and they are you. They’re watering a dead plant that is killing them and pulling you. Let go of someone who is overlooking you and you may find the one who you, yourself have overlooked

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I fell in love!

I fell deeply in love.

These past few years, I have been involved in a long-term mediocre relationship. I didnt think it was possible, almost 6 years later im wrapped in emotions, all bubbly inside. Who falls in love with crinkles, kinks, frizziness, nearly matted hair. I DID!!!  

Sure, it’s no easy ride and it takes commitment, but that’s how you know it’s true love. It has definitely never been a love-at-first-sight situation. Some days I liked it, I loathed it most days, but I have finally fallen in love with it.

My locs have taught me patience and shown me strength. Every few months I look into a mirror and I’m always amazed at the length I’ve achieved. It inspires me, to be better, eat better, live healthier. Who knew?!

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Faith, Prayer, Bite Your Tongue!

Some days you just wish you could crawl up under a rock, no not the typical ‘and die’, but just crawl and hide. Get away from everything and everyone. Three days under that rock and come out refresh, ready to take on more of the worlds ridiculousness. Unfortunately, you haven’t found a rock big enough to go under as yet. But you’re optimistic!

The frustration of living with people when you have been accustomed to living alone can be too much to handle some times. You bite your tongue so many times to prevent saying things that may come out entirely wrong because of the circumstances in which they are being revealed. Cleaning up is tiresome, and when you are constantly cleaning after others (mainly adults and its not a job) is painful. How can you complain, make any type of noise without sounding ungrateful, unappreciative or just thankless. So you bite your tongue.

Some days are filled with laughter and fun, then other days depressing and shut off.  Either days, you’re still thinking/searching about that rock.  Attitudes, jeers, snickering all thrown your way ‘on the low’, and yet all you can do for the time being is bite your tongue.

Every night, every morning, throughout the day you pray for something better, a better situation, a rock, that rock, your rock, to come your way. Some days you feel as though its getting better, you blink and it seems you fallen 20 steps back. You start thinking and wondering if you regret the decisions made to get you at this point. Faith, the size of a mustard seed is all you have, all you cling on to, that one day your breakthrough will come.

Until that day, hold on to your faith, keep praying and bite your tongue! Your rock is coming!!!

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Piercings

Simple, educated and classy is what I’d like to be known as, but physical appearance can make that seem impossible at first.

I love piercings. Tattoos are great, they show great artistry and on the right person they would make you wanna get one, but piercings for me is sexy. Yes, too much of anything is never good. To me, people with tattoos all over their face look like masks and one’s with piercings look like pin cushions. I don’t get why anyone would wanna look like either but hey, to each its own!

As for me, I currently have nine (currently because I still want 2 more) and sometimes I think thats too much, while others say, “Thats it?!”. Yep. My eyebrow, lip, right and left ear lobe, right and left ear hump, navel, tongue and just recently my nose…….(Which is taking forever to heal, its been almost 2 weeks now, im known to heal faster). I wanna get my right and left industrial done and I’d be content. Besides, im thinking of letting my navel close and my lip.   

In the Bahamas however, when in search of a job, anything besides ear piercings can negatively influence your chances. Atleast for a decent job. After you’ve been with a company for so long, you might then start to creep that side of you out. Imagine having to take all those piercings out, or using all that make up to cover up tats. Saddly, it happens.       

I just pictured myself 85 with lip, tongue and navel ring, whoa,      creepy…then I pictured my ears and eyebrow, not so bad…then my nose, hmph amazingly still sexy. The one I thought would never look good on me. Eighty-five I’m ready for you.

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No More

On this day, I declare NO MORE.

No more will self pity be used as an excuse for sex,   

No more will mental abuse or insecurities control me,

No more pretending that its all together when its not,

No more making others happy at my discomfort,

No more trying to fit in when I was born to stand out,     

No more loving others but not loving myself,         

No more settling when there are so many options out there,    

No more, it starts here. 

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Flashback

Back when I was younger, my friends and I would go over to each others homes and hangout for hours until sunset. Saturdays would be outdoors day – meaning we’d play ring play, hopskotch, jax & ball, bat & ball, hide & seek, tag, pokey etc.
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Early mid teens, we would still chill out by each other. Now we would be indoors discussing our new crush and playing crush name games like: M.A.S.H, TRUE LOVE, FLAMES.
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Mid teens, technology entered our lives with beepers. We’d send messages in number codes; 26632963 across your beeper screen deciphered as ‘come by me’. Alongside technology were boyfriends. Our hearts melted when ‘45683968 – I love you’ came through. I guess that was the early stage of text messaging.
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Late teens/Early 20’s some friends from younger didnt make this chapter and some new ones was introduced. Our new ‘tech toy’ was cellular phones. Breaking the hanging together error, now we called, and talked for hours. Then shortly after, texting became the new biggest thing. Hours, and hours of texting. Oh, how I miss those Nokia battery.
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Mid 20’s cellular/cellphones transitioned into smart phones, boosting texting with whatsapp and bbm. Hanging with friends became an occasional thing. Talking on the phone was even fading away.
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Late 20’s to now, smart phones advanced with touchscreen and apps like: Facebook, Instagram, Skype, Whatsapp etc., became easier accessible. So now everything became about popularity. How many likes can I get for this status pertaining to my bestfriend turned enemy, this video exposing my ex sexually, these pictures of my friends and I out.  Everything done instantly.
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Im only scratching the surface with the internet & phones; things that were invented for good, now being used by evil minds for all the bad that could possibly happen. 

Selfies!!!!

I hate when I’m all to myself, thinking thoughts, just doing me and some random douche comes and says… “Why you so down today what happen?”…then I’m a douche for answering and saying… “I’m not down just thinking”…then they go off on how they dont believe me and I’m seriously like wtf ever!!! Why can’t people just have those selfy moments…I love when I have those moments where I can just think and clear my head. That way I dont just pop off at people, I can be a total hag sometimes…So to balance myself I need that time. If you see me looking zone, dont be alarm, I’m just leveling my social performance…Right!

Once A Month

Being a woman has a lot of perks, but oh that visitor that comes once a month gets on every woman’s nerve. But when she doesn’t come, or comes late, everything starts racing, things you never knew could race. If only we could just get a note in the mail that says “You’re not pregnant this month” or “You’ve been caught” it would be so much better. Like, God is a just God so what do men go through once a month? I never really believed it was Eve fault what happened in the garden, but now as I’m older, I’m more convinced she set us up. We have all these changes to go through: breast tenderness, stomach cramps, mood swings, bloating, fatigue, child bearing…and what does a man get? Blue balls, voice changes smt ugh!!! Lucky suckers…I just want guys to experience something like we do, if only for a year. I’d be satisfied with that.

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Coming Out The Closet!!!

YAY!!! I’m finally ready to admit it! It’s been a year now and I finally feel confident to let the world know! It was becoming very difficult to keep it covered up, people are beginning to wonder and pics are beginning to surface. Those who know couldn’t and still can’t believe this is real. There’s no turning back for me now. I’m loving this!!! I mean before I tried it, I knew I already liked it, but after a year of committing to it….I’m in love! YES, love!!! There are people who don’t agree with my decision, but I do what makes me happy, and dammit, I’m happy! I’m finally ready to reveal it to the wold.  Shouting it from the rooftop…… I LOC’D MY HAIR!!!!

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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