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Viabelle's Blog

When you're tired reading, start writing!!!

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Floating

My Theory

When my boyfriend tells me he’s sitting in the front room doing nothing, but still dont be messaging me… I automatically thought maybe he just doesnt wants to talk to me. And now I’m like… Maybe he’s there in a temporary trans, not aware that he’s not messaging me. Maybe aliens landed on his brain and is trying to convince him that he is having this romantic conversation about spending the rest of his life with me, meanwhile his super powerful kids are tying him to the chair with these amazing award winning scout rangers knots. Blind folding him, to fly around the house creating a horrific mess. And whenever he snaps out of this state of whatever he is trapped in that has me here with no him to talk too, he will then message and tell me he is cleaning…because my super powerful soon to be official step kids has completed their masterpiece. And now I have to wait even longer to converse with my king.
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Disturb Emotions

Babbling in my mind. So much thoughts at once.  I was confused about the decisions I was making and I know they weren’t the right one. But for some reason it seemed so much easier, it flowed almost as if it was suppose to be normal. It is so easy for me to give advice to others on any situation than for me to figure out that one problem, but there wasn’t really nothing to figure out. I knew exactly why I did it! Im in a relationship as far as all my friends and family knew, and then there was that secret life that only me knew about. I had 2-3 other relationships. No it didn’t get complicated for me because they all weren’t on the same island. If I could’ve taken all of them and make one, I would’ve been so fine. My ‘public’ boyfriend wasn’t stepping up to the plate, he was basically leaving me with all that free time to communicate with others. In the beginning, I was hands down dedicated, I cut off all prior bad acts. Clean slate, that is until he started  ‘falling off’. No, I didnt just hopped right into those other relationships the first chance I got. I repeatedly told him about my concerns about the relationship, I even set up small interventions to help him see what was wrong. After all failed I turned to others, I could’ve just left but part of me still had faith that things would work out and because he is much younger the turn around process for him was much longer.  Now it could’ve very well been signs that maybe he wasnt for me and I should’ve let it go (but whoever wants to believe that, thats the reason). I stayed committed sexually, and I did feel guilty sometimes when they called me pet names, but the attention and the emotion I got from them was overwhelming. If he would’ve just put me first sometimes, recognise my needs, just pay me some attention, I would’ve been beyond satisfied.

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Caught up in uncertainty.

It’s been awhile since I wrote anything, I’ve been caught up in this life of mines. Trying to live it the best way I know how. So let’s see how quickly I can catch up….

In February, I started dating a coworker…started of real good, with it being a secret and all. But like any secret, it only stays that way for so long. People found and things went crazy. We stopped talking for maybe a month (shortly after my bday in May), and then got back together. Now that we are back together, living together and moving forward, the past still has sort of a hold.

In the beginning it was me not wanting people to find out because we work together. Oh and the fact that I’m older, I knew the negative comments would come flying…BUT now, I’m feeling some type of way because people don’t know. I feel all bent and out of shape when he don’t invite me places but invites my friend. I feel like now people have gotten to him and he’s now ashame or something…

For his birthday I tried my best to make him happy that day…I saved and sacrificed, it was good. Besides the lil hurdles that we have, it isnt all bad. Maybe this is my karma for not putting in this effort in all my other relationships. IDK….smt…IDK, trying to keep positive!!!!

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Happy 2013

Hey guys, I know I’m a lil bit late but HAPPY 2013!!!! Oh yeah. Happy to have made it into this year. I’m weird, I say happy new year when its your birthday because to me that’s your new year, you become a year older. Its like saying ‘God bless you’ when you sneeze, I say ‘Stay alive’, makes more sense to me…you know, with the whole heart stops beating when you sneeze thing… Idk, maybe its a myth. So yeah it 2013, and again I have no new year resolution. I decide that why kid myself, if I’m going to do something, just do it. No need to write a list of things that sounds good, only cause they sound good, when I’m not going to commit to it. But that doesn’t means I don’t have things that I wanna accomplish before this year is over. I’m just not broadcasting it. Anyway, I hope you guys stick to some of the bogus stuff you wrote or said (I didn’t say all for a reason) lol. I will be back soon!!!

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Featured post

Circumstances Beyond Control

Sitting, talking, laughing, crying, hugging, kissing, holding, unlawful love making, separate ways for couple days, staying in touch with no more fuss. She went away and planned to stay.

But in a few days, not even a week, a little test gave her a special treat. She told him, he went insane. He couldn’t believe he will be causing more pain. They both have been denying their secret from the closet, but he’s engage, that’s the problem.

Was the love making that good or were they secretly in love too? People suspected, but they rejected. Expected?! Is it a dream come true in an disorderly manner? Could they both have wanted this without all the drama? Well, now they’re in circumstances beyond control!

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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